That time we ended up down an Ali Express Rabbit hole of BDSM toys and bought some paddles.

And I love them! Steve not so much.

So, sometimes, when he wants to be, Steve can be a very good boy, he likes to send me links and show me BDSM toys he thinks I might like – even if he knows he would hate them. I swear, the boy is genuinely so masochistic to the core, it’s a beautiful thing, even if he has zero concept of self-preservation.

 Anyway, he sent me a link to beautiful looking paddles on Ali Express. I’m not going to tell you what they call them, because that would be long, and both over, and under descriptive. But there are a series of different sizes, thicknesses, patterns and colours of acrylic paddles. At the price of them, we were not expecting anything amazing, but we were genuinely blown away when they arrived.

We purchased Paddle E a traditional style spanking paddle with a black handle, Paddle K Pineapple, a small roundish paddle with lines cut into it for texture, and Paddle G, a plain long ruler style paddle. Check out the link to see the options.

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/1005003073373247.html

They are solidly made, clean and smooth with tidy rounded edges, the handle on the biggest one is neat, and comfortable to hold and they all pack one hell of a punch.

Let’s start with the big one.

Paddle One – Ali Express Paddle E

It’s a little big for OTK spanking but is a great size for a few quick behaviour correcting swats, as and when needed. It is dense, and I’m told takes the breath away. It certainly inspires better behaviour almost instantly. It is smooth on both sides, not particularly heavy with a textured black handle, making it very comfortable to hold, and comes with a soft velvety storage bag which is perfect for stopping it getting all scratched up when it is inevitably shoved in a drawer or our impact play bag with all our other toys.

 I would recommend this paddle is used with the bottom either lying flat on a bed, leaning over the back of a chair or sofa, or bent over with hands on knees – however make sure they brace because this one will send them flying! It is comfortable in the hand, easy to aim – though watch out for the usual areas of tail bone etc due to the density of it but all round, a great paddle.

Steve is not a fan of this. There is no love hate, just a hate. But that’s okay, because I love it, and use it whenever I want, and that makes him happy (sort of lol)

Paddle 2 – Ali Express Paddle K

 The pineapple. It is much the same as the above for the more traditional style paddle, it is the same very smooth acrylic, dense and comfortable to hold. However, it comes as one solid item with the handle moulded from the same piece of acrylic rather than a separate textured handle. While comfortable to hold, I prefer the textured handle just for enhancing the grip and to help out with any sweaty situations. The textured cuts into the body of the paddle are only one side, giving you two different paddles for the price of one. I am informed that the textured ‘pineapple’ side is much worse than the plain side, as the skin enters the grooves and is apparently much more painful. The grooves are completely smooth, and beautifully even, and I suspect that on cold skin with a good strong stroke would leave a lovely pattern on the lucky victims’ bottom. This paddle is a good bit thicker than the longer one above, and packs more of a punch due to the density and also the smaller surface area it covers. It is easy to hold, easy to aim and a great low effort tool.

 It is perfect for OTK spanking, but equally for any of the positions listed above. A versatile, evil and beautiful little thing, I wouldn’t be without it in my toy back now, for when I feel just that little bit more sadistic or when my brat needs a very faster reminder of his place.

Like the paddle above, it comes in a lovely velvet like storage back to protect it from damage.

Steve also hate, hates this. My opinion of it is the same as above. I love it, and so it gets used regularly.

Paddle 3 – Ali Express Paddle G

The Ruler. This is the simplest of the three we bought, long and thin, slightly thicker than paddle 1 but not as thick as the pineapple. It is the same length the whole way down and has no set handle end. This would be my least favourite of the three as it is harder to hold, and I personally find it a little awkward in the hand as for, the size and shape of it, the thickness and density makes it a little heavier than I expect every time I lift it. I think my brain is just stuck on wooden ruler when it thinks about it.

This paddle is good for both OTK and standing or leaning positions. It covers a wider but thinner surface area, and like the others packs a punch. It is smooth on all sides, crystal clear acrylic and an easy thing to throw into a toy bag for a little bit of variety. It didn’t come in a storage bag, so we usually stick it in with paddle 1 above, as the shiny surface would get scratched easily, and while it wouldn’t detract from how useful it is, it there is always a risk of a nick etc leaving a little sharp edge.

I find this one probably thuddier feeling when it hits than the other two, and it does focus the impact on an even smaller surface area, but I am told it stings less than the other two.

We have also used this paddle for CBT, it is denser and heavier than most other things we would use for CBT, and I am always careful to go a little lighter with this one. It will leave bruises on the cock and the balls and can be used for light repetitive thuddy strokes on both cock and balls.

So, in reality it is a versatile little thing.  

This one Steve has a love hate relationship with, and the love bit only comes from it being used for CBT, while not my favourite of the three, it is still something I would regularly reach for as it is easy to use and to aim and can be incorporated into different types of scenes.

All three paddles.

Due to the material, they are easily cleaned – a quick wipe and ready to go, easy to store, though I will always be keeping them in their bags to help prevent scratching of the surfaces. They will absolutely cause bruises and are a lovely combination of thuddy and sting. Great for a fun session, a discipline session or both.

And now for the price. It is so worth it – for less than £25.00 a paddle for any of the ones listed by the seller, you are not going to go wrong with any you chose. We will certainly be trying other styles in the future, and while we are boring and only bought the clear ones (that’s on me – he is the flashy one, drawn to bright colours) I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend these to anyone.

The wait time is the only downside, but the best things are always worth waiting for!